It's All Good
“It’s all good.”
A dad said this to his son today.
I was minding my own business going up an escalator at a local shopping centre, and they were coming down the other side. It was just a snapshot in time. I wasn’t privy to what led up to this statement and I don’t know what happened after it. All I saw was a father looking at his son with a smile on his face, wrapping his arm around his shoulder, and saying to him, “It’s all good.”
I have heard this saying countless times, and I have said it many times myself. But today it snagged me - today I noticed the intention behind the saying.
We use the phrase “It’s all good” to hose down fear or concern in others. We use it to reassure. On the escalator today, the father sensed there was a possibility the son may have felt concerned or worried about something, and the father moved to cut these concerns off at the pass. In effect he said to his son, “Whatever concerns or fears you have right now, they don’t fit the moment, you don’t need to worry. There isn’t any problem.” And it did the job. The son was reassured, and they travelled down the escalator never to be seen by me again.
Reassuring others is a lot like snuffing out spot fires; you see something sinister developing in someone else, perhaps a fear or insecurity, and you do what you can to extinguish it.
From parents seeing the world through their children’s eyes, to friends clarifying their heart for each other in conversation, and pastors and counsellors reaching out to encourage those who are struggling. Once your eyes are trained to see it, you will see it everywhere.
Reassurance is the air which healthy relationships breathe. It keeps them alive and lively.
So then, how do we reassure skilfully?
Well, you can’t reassure someone from a distance. You have to be close, relationally close. Close enough to read facial expressions, close enough to hear the concerns in the other person’s heart, and close enough to imagine yourself walking in their shoes. If you are close enough to another to see some of these things, then you have successfully completed step one.
The second step in reassurance is to move closer. If you want to be an expert at reassurance you can’t stop at being close enough to know the struggles and concerns of another, you need to roll up your sleeves up and get involved. You have to be prepared to run interference and interrupt their fears and concerns. Not rudely or harshly, but in love, with the other person’s best interests at heart. Here are a few simple examples:
Whoops. I didn’t mean that.
Yep, I hear you.
Sure man. Anytime.
Totally.
Always happy to talk.
I was thinking about you today.
I wanted to let you know I prayed for you today.
Most of the time you reassure others without even knowing it. This is because there is a direct link between reassurance and love. When we love well, we reassure others well. And if there was ever a time where a liberal application of reassurance was needed, then surely now is that time.
As it turns out, God is an amazing reassurer. While you won’t find the word popping up much in the Bible, you will find God reassuring his people throughout the scriptures. He regularly runs interference on humanity’s fears and concerns by reminding us of who He is, what His heart is towards us, and how He is continuously present with us.
It seems we forget that: He is in charge (Colossians 1:16-17), we need not be afraid (Revelation 1:17), He will never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5), He is a refuge for us (Psalm 46:1) and we are precious in His eyes and loved by Him (Isaiah 43:4). And then, as if that weren’t enough, He gives us the Holy Spirit to dwell in us, whose role it is to help us and remind us of what God has said (John 14:26). That’s reassuring.
God is close.
He knows us intimately.
He knows our frailties and fears.
He is well aware of the spot fires which can easily flare up.
When they do, expect Him to move in closer and talk to you.
Expect Him to mess with your fears and worries.
Expect Him to calm your concerns.