Fearful of Fear
Fear is probably a bigger driving force in your life than you might think.
Think beyond what you are afraid of right now.
Slow down.
Look deeper.
Consider how fear has shaped your life.
There are probably things you haven’t done because you were afraid. What if it cost too much? What if I ran out of money, energy or time? What if I failed? What if I couldn’t do it and that confirmed I really am a loser? There are things you and I have avoided because of fear – talking to that person, speaking out, admitting mistakes. Fear can corral us into playing it safe, and while it may look as if we are being sensible, even wise, our lives are shaped by fear.
Fear messes with us.
In a fallen world where bad things happen, fear has a way of making potential misfortune bigger and more ominous – it amplifies risk and danger, taking possibilities and turning them into certainties.
Fear gets us stuck.
How do we get unstuck?
The answer to this question is trickier than you might think because it is counterintuitive.
Fear demands a response. It drives us to find ways to neutralise it. We get busy looking for ways to avoid the threat. We gather information in the hope we will be able to outsmart it. But there is a problem with this strategy: it’s impossible. We still live in a fallen world and can’t hope to negate every threat. And to make matters worse, lies get smuggled in with our fear, convincing lies that we believe. Here are a couple: the terrible thing you fear will definitely happen to you (even though in reality, it’s unlikely), and you can avoid what you’re afraid of if you work hard and are smart enough.
It’s normal for humans to seek to control threats around them – this is what God designed us to do (Genesis 2:15). But it’s not normal for humans to act to control what they’re afraid of independently, on their own. The threat appears, the fear arrives, and we (sometimes with supersonic speed) decide no one else is fit to handle it. It’s up to us – and we run like a hamster in a wheel trying to account for all possible scenarios. But the more we seek to control, the more variables we realise are out of our control, and the more we spin out. In the end we are like the hamster, we get tired and go nowhere. Our fears rule.
The way out of fear and anxiety is trust – an insane suggestion to the fear-ridden person. Give up control? It doesn’t make any sense. But that is because the logic within fear and anxiety is twisted. And if the logic is twisted, and we have bought into it, you can expect the way out to seem crazy and feel unnatural.
Stuck in our fear we cry out, ‘Who can I trust?’ and in the midst Jesus answers, ‘Me.’ He tells us He loves us, He is with us and He will never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). He reminds us how everything is under His control, and He will ensure it ends well for us, although it might look different to how we expect (Romans 8:28).
When you get stuck in fear, come back to Him.
Ask His forgiveness for trying to control everything. Entrust yourself and those you care about to Him. Come close… and rest.
“In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.” But you were unwilling, and you said, “No! We will flee upon horses”; therefore you shall flee away; and, “We will ride upon swift steeds”; therefore your pursuers shall be swift. A thousand shall flee at the threat of one; at the threat of five you shall flee, till you are left like a flagstaff on the top of a mountain, like a signal on a hill. (Isaiah 30:15–17)
Let me finish with three practical suggestions as to how you can move towards restful trust when you get stuck in fear:
Physically slow down. Walk slower, take more frequent breaks, linger longer in your time with God. You are an embodied soul. What is going on in your soul plays out in your body and what is happening in your body affects your soul. Read how Jesus slows people down in the sermon on the mount (Matthew 6:25-34) – “Look at the birds of the air …” Read the Bible slower – focus more on meaning than consuming content. Learn how to meditate on it.
Punctuate your fears. Don’t let them run all day without being interrupted. Read a verse from scripture every 30 minutes or pray regularly – set reminders so you don’t forget, use post-it notes. Tell someone else about your anxiety and invite them to interrupt it by speaking into it. Take time to consider the natural world; notice God’s care of it.
Look for the lies within your fears. This one is a little harder because you probably don’t see them as lies – you probably believe them. Run them past someone else. They likely won’t have the same fears and will be able to help you identify the lies you believe. Commit to weighing their thoughts more heavily than what your fears say.
And when you can’t stop them?
When your fears are running amuck?
Nothing has changed.
He is still close.
He will help you.