The Enlarging of Our Identity
Being joined to Jesus enlarges our identity. We are no longer merely an individual.
A little while ago, I had the opportunity to partner with someone (I will call him James) in a church ministry. I was really excited about collaborating with James but, as time went on, it became obvious to me that working together was not going to be as easy as I initially thought. It wasn’t because either of us were trying to make it difficult for each other, it was just that communication was hard.
James was courteous and he engaged well with whatever we talked about, but I never felt like his friend. When I had the chance, I asked one of my friends about it because he knew James better than I did. After I described the struggles that I had in relating to James, my friend asked me one question: “Have you met his wife?” That was a strange question, but I had a hunch about where he may have been headed with it. He went on to say that if I had met James’ wife, I would understand him better. What my friend was saying was that James had married someone who was very different from him and it would only be after I had met his wife, and had seen the two of them relating, that I would have a more complete picture of who he was.
Marriage enlarges an individual’s identity because it is not just about the individual anymore – it is about two who have become one. There are two minor ways that marriage can help us understand the individual’s identity better: by comparing people with their spouse, and by observing the way that spouses shape and contribute to each other’s identity. However, these almost fade into insignificance when we consider the original intention of marriage: two people merging into one.
Marriage is not mathematical. It is not about this one compared with the other one, nor is it about what that one contributes to the other– it is about two becoming one (Genesis 2:24). The identity of the married person is actually enlarged by being joined to their spouse.
In a similar way, when someone becomes a Christian they are no longer an individual. The Scriptures teach that they have become one with Christ. They are in Him. They have been grafted in. In salvation, humanity becomes one with Christ in a similar way that a husband and wife become one with each other. Jesus spoke of the day that the Holy Spirit would be given to the disciples when he said:
“In that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you.” John 14:20
It is the Holy Spirit that unites us to Christ. He is the one who brings a deep communion between Jesus and us.
What does this mean for our identity and value?
It means that we no longer need to walk the plank of individuality. No longer is our identity solely dependent upon ourselves. No longer do we need to walk in fear of the gaze of others. Christ has redeemed me, taken my sin, given me his righteousness, and united himself to me. He is a part of who I am now (Ephesians 5:32), and not just me, but everyone who is God’s child.
When someone becomes one with Christ, their identity is neither displaced nor unaffected by Jesus - it is enlarged by Him.
“Thus, we look to our Head who is already in heaven, and say, 'Although I am weak, there is Jesus Christ who is my strength. Although I am full of all miseries, Jesus Christ is in immortal glory and what He has will sometime be given to me and I shall partake of all his benefits …” (Canlis, 2010)
If you love Jesus, and you want to understand who you are, you must not just look at yourself as an individual. You must look to who your ‘self’ is joined to – Jesus. It is our union with Christ that redefines the way we understand ourselves.
But what does this practically mean?
How does this change the way that we see ourselves?
I have heard it said that the best matches in marriage are the matches that bring out the best in each other. When you marry well, and hang in there, a mystery occurs – you relinquish your individuality for a community of two and find yourself being more ‘you’ than you might have ever been on your own. This is a shadow of what it is like to be joined to Jesus.
It might look like we are losing our identity in being joined to Jesus, because it requires a death of the self (Matthew 16:25), yet we find that we become more truly ourselves than we ever would have been without Him. Far from losing identity, being joined to Christ enlarges our identity.
Some time ago, I was an elder in a local church that was looking for a new pastor. We found someone who we thought may be suitable and invited him and his wife to join us for a few days. He accepted our invitation, but his wife had some prior commitments and was unable to join him initially. I checked in with the elder who was hosting the prospective pastor (he had visited the pastor and his wife in their home church before we invited them) and asked him how it was all going. He answered, “He’s a bit lost without his wife. He is only half the man.” Now, you may recoil at that and think that it is pathetic, but there is something about that statement that expresses how God intends both marriage, and being joined to Jesus, to operate.
Identity gets bigger not smaller.
Could someone say these things about you?
“He’s/she’s lost without Jesus.”
“You won’t understand him/her if you don’t know Jesus.”